<p>主要错误如下：</p>
<ol>
<li>“如此充满理想”这个表述略显抽象。可以具体说明理想的内容，使句子更加生动和具体。</li>
<li>“并且只身到山上来开辟几百亩的林地”中的“并且”。用在这里，应当是连接两个并列的动作。
但前半句是描述状态，后半句是描述行动。在这种情形下，使用“并且”连接，略显生硬。</li>
</ol>
<p>建议如下修改：</p>
<p>“<strong>父亲向我讲述他青年时代怀揣着种树造林的理想，独自一人来到山上，开辟了几百亩的林地</strong>。”</p>
<p>修改后的句子更加通顺，逻辑关系也更清晰。</p>

CC BY-SA 4.0
2024-07-14T14:37:31.953Z
2024-07-14T14:37:31.953Z
Yu Su
<p>My correction is as follows.</p>
<p>父亲对我谈起他充满理想的青年时代，只身到山上来开辟几百亩林地。</p>

CC BY-SA 4.0
2024-07-15T10:29:10.313Z
2024-07-15T10:29:10.313Z
fat penguin
<p><strong>&quot;如此&quot; vs &quot;如何&quot;</strong> -</p>
<p>&quot;父亲对我谈起他青年时代<strong>如此</strong>充满理想, 并且只身到山上来开辟几百亩的林地。&quot; - <strong>the word &quot;如此(so, such)&quot; should be replaced with &quot;如何地(how)</strong> - &quot;Father talked to me about <strong>how</strong> he was filled with/full of ideas at the time he was young, and (besides that) single-handedly came to the high mountain to develop several hundred acres of wood-land&quot;.</p>
<p>The revised sentence is acceptable but can be further modified to make it more clear and complete:</p>
<ul>
<li>&quot;父亲对我谈起他青年时代<strong>如何地</strong>充满理想, 并且只身到山上来开辟几百亩的林地<strong>的往事</strong>。(The additional words clarify the time of occurrence of the action &quot;开辟林地&quot;.)</li>
</ul>

CC BY-SA 4.0
2024-07-14T16:04:49.770Z
2024-07-15T15:42:40.583Z
2024-07-15T15:42:40.583Z
r13
<p>My correction is as follows:</p>
<p>我父亲谈到了他年轻时是多么充满理想主义，<br />
My father talked about when he was a young man how idealistic he was,<br />
以及他是如何独自上山开垦数百英亩林地供公众使用的。<br />
and how he went alone into the mountains and cleared several hundred acres of woodland to provide land for public use.</p>
<p>If it wasn't for public use it was wilful destruction of a natural biotope!</p>

CC BY-SA 4.0
2024-07-15T13:32:41.550Z
2024-07-15T13:32:41.550Z
Pedroski
<p>Is there an error in &quot;父亲对我谈起他青年时代如此充满理想，并且只身到山上来开辟几百亩的林地。&quot;? If so, how can this sentence be corrected?</p>

<grammar><usage>
Is there an error in 父亲对我谈起他青年时代如此充满理想，并且只身到山上来开辟几百亩的林地。
# Is there an error in 父亲对我谈起他青年时代如此充满理想，并且只身到山上来开辟几百亩的林地。

(Asked by: username_0 on 2024-07-14)

Is there an error in "父亲对我谈起他青年时代如此充满理想，并且只身到山上来开辟几百亩的林地。"? If so, how can this sentence be corrected?

**Tags:** grammar, usage

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## 4 answers

### Answer by username_1 on 2024-07-14. Score: 1

主要错误如下：

1. “如此充满理想”这个表述略显抽象。可以具体说明理想的内容，使句子更加生动和具体。
2. “并且只身到山上来开辟几百亩的林地”中的“并且”。用在这里，应当是连接两个并列的动作。
   但前半句是描述状态，后半句是描述行动。在这种情形下，使用“并且”连接，略显生硬。

建议如下修改：

“**父亲向我讲述他青年时代怀揣着种树造林的理想，独自一人来到山上，开辟了几百亩的林地**。”

修改后的句子更加通顺，逻辑关系也更清晰。


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### Answer by username_2 on 2024-07-15. Score: 1

My correction is as follows.

父亲对我谈起他充满理想的青年时代，只身到山上来开辟几百亩林地。


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### Answer by username_3 on 2024-07-14. Score: 1

**"如此" vs "如何"** -

"父亲对我谈起他青年时代**如此**充满理想, 并且只身到山上来开辟几百亩的林地。" - **the word "如此(so, such)" should be replaced with "如何地(how)** - "Father talked to me about **how** he was filled with/full of ideas at the time he was young, and (besides that) single-handedly came to the high mountain to develop several hundred acres of wood-land".

The revised sentence is acceptable but can be further modified to make it more clear and complete:

* "父亲对我谈起他青年时代**如何地**充满理想, 并且只身到山上来开辟几百亩的林地**的往事**。(The additional words clarify the time of occurrence of the action "开辟林地".)


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### Answer by username_4 on 2024-07-15. Score: 0

My correction is as follows:

我父亲谈到了他年轻时是多么充满理想主义，  
My father talked about when he was a young man how idealistic he was,  
以及他是如何独自上山开垦数百英亩林地供公众使用的。  
and how he went alone into the mountains and cleared several hundred acres of woodland to provide land for public use.

If it wasn't for public use it was wilful destruction of a natural biotope!


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