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Alright, look.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 1.584 |
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Yeah, shut the fuck up.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 0.922 |
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I'm going to cry and it's only three seconds into this episode.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 3.265 |
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Sheesh.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 0.321 |
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I'm good.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 0.761 |
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How are you?
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 0.361 |
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Actually yes, I've been very much looking forward to this.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 2.784 |
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I wish that I planned more, but I did come very mentally ready to be as open of a guest as you could possibly desire.
|
Speaker 0
| 0 | 8.474 |
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Everything.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 0.501 |
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Let's get saucy.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 0.681 |
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I know deep down you want to get saucy and toast.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 3.285 |
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I want to get saucy.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 1.402 |
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Okay, wait, can we start with this actually?
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 3.024 |
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Within OTV, I feel like me and you are like secretly the most controversial, maybe less so secretive for me.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 7.19 |
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But for me, like, I love to talk.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 1.803 |
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I genuinely love to share my opinion.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 1.482 |
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I've maybe shied away from it like the first few years of streaming because
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 3.966 |
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I mean, like, especially just growing up, it's a little bit hard to properly formulate your opinion in front of hundreds of thousands of people.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 5.766 |
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But I feel like you're the same in the sense that you don't want to shy away from more sensitive topics.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 6.086 |
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And I personally appreciate that a lot.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 1.722 |
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I see what you mean.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 0.981 |
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Yes and um I'm very much enjoying it but also personally I don't like I don't really have a goal in particular that's like I want to go crazy and I seemed like a good girl and now I want to be a bad bitch.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 14.771 |
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I mean I've always been a bad bitch but
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 3.066 |
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I think it's more so just, um, especially as someone who like grew up on the internet, like not just on the internet, but in front of people, like from 17 to 25, I streamed all of those like quite formative years.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 12.231 |
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I think now I just want to, um, care a bit more about the person that I want to be in a bit less about the person people want me to be.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 7.787 |
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So I think I'm just in the process of figuring that out, experimenting and prioritizing, enjoying my life.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 6.906 |
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Honestly, I think it was a bit less so that I felt I couldn't say things that I wanted to say.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 6.791 |
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It was just like, I was also so young that it was more so like fear and not being aware of like the stark difference between me and some of the audience, like within Fortnite, let's say.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 14.523 |
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And it was just like, there was this little fire burning within me, this sentiment of,
|
Speaker 0
| 0 | 5.629 |
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I want to be a person that can eloquently voice my opinions.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 3.628 |
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I can say what they want.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 0.902 |
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I can stand for what they believe in.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 1.443 |
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But when you're like 22 and all you've ever known is gaming and streaming, it's kind of hard to actually be that person.
|
Speaker 0
| 0 | 5.873 |
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So I think it was less so that I felt I had to filter myself and more so like,
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 6.614 |
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I was still figuring out who the heck I was in the first place.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 3.104 |
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And especially like when you have such an audience, it's easy to just be influenced by them and be like, oh, they're gearing me towards doing this and liking this and being this kind of a person.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 9.693 |
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So yeah, I guess it was a little like not that self-aware.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 4.767 |
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I think it's like 10k.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 1.203 |
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I don't know the percentage.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 1.524 |
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Oh, Immortals top 1.2%.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 2.569 |
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Oh, interesting.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 2.449 |
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Yeah.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 0.141 |
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I think, for starters,
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 2.328 |
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For starters, I really like the game.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 1.663 |
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So that's step one.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 1.042 |
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You know, I've had numerous addictions in my past League of Legends, Fortnite, now we're in Valorant.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 5.508 |
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And when I really care about something, especially when I care about streaming something, I want to be like as good as I feel I can reasonably be.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 7.772 |
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And especially this being my first FPS.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 4.046 |
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I liked that I could just look up so many videos and find a very clear-cut way in order to get better.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 4.589 |
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You just aim train a ton, you play the game a ton, you learn the game, and I enjoyed every part of that.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 6.231 |
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Like, I genuinely learned, I enjoyed just grinding my ass off in that game.
|
Speaker 0
| 0 | 4.549 |
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I enjoyed every game that I played, I mean, for the most part.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 3.466 |
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And I think it was seeing the progress that really felt good, especially progress in something that you are initially so clueless in.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 7.39 |
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I remember, dude, I feel like anything anyone in OTB tells me, like I remember so specifically, there was one day we were playing Customs.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 7.23 |
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I don't know if you remember this.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 1.062 |
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We were playing Customs and I had just started like aim training every single day.
|
Speaker 0
| 0 | 4.826 |
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I was like top of the leaderboard or whatever.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 5.608 |
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I was like outfragging everyone within our friend group.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 2.644 |
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And I remember you messaged me and you were like, when did you get so good at this game?
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 3.966 |
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And I was so flattered.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 1.322 |
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Things like that motivated me to like keep trying so much.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 3.745 |
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Yes.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 0.802 |
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Yeah.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 0.4 |
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Um, honestly, when it comes to the public reaction to almost anything, I don't really see that much by design.
|
Speaker 0
| 0 | 6.993 |
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Like I will generally see what my friends say on Twitter and stuff like that.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 3.947 |
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And in that regard, it's been like pretty positive, which I appreciate a lot.
|
Speaker 0
| 0 | 4.308 |
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Obviously, there will always be little corners of the internet, random TikTok video here, TikTok comment there, YouTube comment, you know, there will always be places for people to go, I mean, yeah, freaking man, she's not even that good.
|
Speaker 0
| 0 | 11.348 |
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I watched her play for two seconds and she missed a headshot, you know?
|
Speaker 0
| 0 | 3.208 |
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And it's like, those places will exist.
|
Speaker 0
| 0 | 2.647 |
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But I feel like I'm overall pleasantly surprised, but I also think my standards were really freaking low.
|
Speaker 0
| 0 | 8.975 |
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I remember prior to hitting Immortal, when I could tell I was really close to it,
|
Speaker 0
| 0 | 5.93 |
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In my mind, I could already think up of all these excuses people are going to give and things that people will say.
|
Speaker 0
| 0 | 5.711 |
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And I had no idea if I would post it and everybody would discredit me.
|
Speaker 0
| 0 | 4.187 |
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But luckily, for the majority of the part, most people were really, really nice, especially friends, other content creators.
|
Speaker 0
| 0 | 6.713 |
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So I feel like that helped legitimize my achievement, which meant a lot.
|
Speaker 0
| 0 | 4.669 |
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But yeah, because I already knew so many people would likely tear it down anyways, I kind of precautioned myself by making sure that it feels like a personal win, more so than a, I will only care if other people validate me about this.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 14.296 |
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And I for sure freaking feel good about it.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 1.642 |
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I stream my games in high elo, so I'm happy.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 4.745 |
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OK, but let me tell you, I think the differences.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 5.597 |
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Everybody has pretty good aim in Immortal, High Diamond, Radiant.
|
Speaker 0
| 0 | 4.266 |
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For starters, you can even tell stats-wise, the difference between Immortal top 1% and top 0.1%, like that gap is huge.
|
Speaker 0
| 0 | 7.491 |
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In my opinion, that's the difference between someone who's like gold and someone who's diamond.
|
Speaker 0
| 0 | 4.426 |
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Like it can be that much of a difference.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 2.083 |
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Or like Platinum-Diamond, like it's even more than a tier actually I'd say.
|
Speaker 0
| 0 | 4.286 |
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But I will say people's aim is really freaking good, but they don't really care to learn the game that well.
|
Speaker 0
| 0 | 5.147 |
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They don't always want to play for time.
|
Speaker 0
| 0 | 1.582 |
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So I know that I can put in the efforts in non-natural born gaming ways, like strategically figuring out things that work, whether it's lineups, like I can put in the nerd studying hours in areas where other people won't.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 15.66 |
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And luckily that gives me a leg up sort of.
|
Speaker 0
| 0 | 2.143 |
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Thirty nine.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 0.52 |
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Thirty nine.
|
Speaker 0
| 0 | 0.661 |
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Yeah.
|
Speaker 0
| 0 | 0.741 |
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Oh, we love a good spicy tweet.
|
Speaker 0
| 0 | 2.583 |
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Because the things he said were so damn bad.
|
Speaker 0
| 0 | 2.967 |
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I know, sometimes I think about that time in my life and I'm like, was that a fever dream?
|
Speaker 0
| 0 | 4.547 |
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Yeah, it's like, oh, no.
|
Speaker 0
| 0 | 0.741 |
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Did someone with like millions of subs really get banned off YouTube because they couldn't help like shit talking me and lying about me and just like trying to roast me 24 hours?
|
Speaker 0
| 0 | 8.554 |
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Like that's that's crazy.
|
Speaker 0
| 0 | 1.622 |
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Yes.
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 0.321 |
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We can, can we table that so we can discuss that later?
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Speaker 0
| 0 | 2.723 |
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Because I do want to discuss that, too.
|
Speaker 0
| 0 | 1.742 |
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